Mint tea and chatter

The air full of shisha smoke —

It’s late, I don’t care

5 comments on “Alexandrian Nights”

  1. Welcome Dhyan

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and the most critical the feedback- the better in my opinion.

    The last phrase of the ending verse may seem out of place to many observers, but a traditional (if not compulsory) aspect of Japanese Haiku (English practioners of course are not really bound by rules, but many still insist on following them)is the inclusion of the Kireji – which is the “cutting word” – this is used to either represent a comparison or a contrast, depending on which verse, and where abouts in that verse it is applied.

    So for example, there would be a particular idea in the first two verses, followed by a complete shift in the final, “cutting” the poem in two.

    It is not easy to apply Kireji in Haiku, and you have to be careful that it isn’t too obvious or too obscure.

    Matuso Basho the master Haiku poet is a good reference, when looking at his work, some Kareji may seem down right random – but the poet’s intention is to show and not tell you what he is feeling.

    I am glad you brought this up though in case others were thinking the same. Sorry if I rambled on a bit, and you probably already know this anyway. I have still an immense amount to learn myself.

    Glad you liked it though, and I look forward to more feedback.

    TH

    • i am nothing when it comes to poetry and even if read some about it and haiku (i did but not to that extant) i always find it interesting and educating to hear another view.
      so no problem with rambling – the more the better
      i be honest and say i am still not sure about that last line but this is your work and heart and you do know the best.
      appreciate your detailed answer
      keep penning
      D!

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